Zodom and Gamorrah 52822 I am triple packed. 1)The apartment was packed. As we would be knocking down the walls of the master bath and bedroom and the front hall, everything in there and my office had to be moved somewhere else. That means everything was in the living room, since that is the only room left. This is my living room now. 2) I had packed the car with enough clothes and toiletries for myself and the cat for a three day trip- much like Gilligan's "three hour tour", and the foot tall pile of papers for the Frank Lloyd Wright article I mean to write, as well as all the drawings and receipts for the work to be done on my apartment. All these papers in a bag on the passenger seat under the disposable litter boxes. The seatbelt on the passenger side has developed a nasty habit of seizing up as well as the airbag light on again after 5 fixes. So the car was packed. 3) Naturally I could not put in the rest of the clothes and equipment I would need for the whole 8 weeks, so I packed two boxes, one quite large, for Federal Express. It should take me three days to get to Naples, and it takes three days for the boxes to get there by Fedex. I hope. The boxes... I walked out the door concerned about little more than my cat's ability to handle a 3 day car trip. ****************************************************** I had done some research for my cat in the car, I had two carriers from SturdiBag.com for him. The large one fits under the dash and acts more as an enclosure to hold the cat from crawling onto my lap while I am driving. His next favorite place to be while I am driving seems to be sitting on my feet. One of the great things about the SturdiBag.com is that it's flexible roof allows Rock the maximum space under the dash. He had a little toy in there as well in case he got bored. The vet explained that this is the only place for a cat in the car, on the floor where the airbag could not hit him in a collision. She also said no way was I allowed to open the roof. >:( ******************************** I had found hotels that would accept pets at 8 hour intervals for the 24 hour drive, prayed a lot for them to be decent and asked Jon T to man the phones by the Internet in case I found myself booked at a hotel that was disgusting or unable to make it to the next stop. Jon would look up "pet friendly" hotels for us. Other than that I had done little to plan the route, relying on Traffic Pro do to all the charting and routing. We got in the car at 8am and on the road in earnest at 830am. Traffic Pro (I call him "Bernie") said we'd be in at Rocky Mount at 315pm. The top was up, usually in 50+ degree weather it would be down, but for the cat and the long trip ahead it stayed up. I was just behind the absurdly warm January weather we had in New York City, leaving just before the predictions of plummeting temperatures. I was taking the good weather with me. South. It was spitting wet stuff at my windshield and I was happy for my Euro Intermittent Wiper Control. Sourced by Ron Stygar, recommended by Shawn Fogg and installed at Fixit Day last year. Once again it was all about Z3ers. Steve Borsse had recommended Naples when I needed a place to stay while they worked on my home, Tim UK had sourced the Traffic Pro for me, JonT was manning the phones, Dr Biggly was waiting for me in Rocky Mount- and I had absolutely no idea what that meant. I turned the balance on the Traffic Pro to the driver's side, as the speakers are down by our feet, to spare the cat. I should have recorded CDs in "mono" because now I was only hearing Mick Jagger sing without the band. Emmy gobbled up the cold air and roared down the turnpike. It was about lunchtime when I reached Baltimore. I thought about Dave Todd and crabs, and TCPinecone is somewhere in Maryland. I dropped a message to Dave via Jon on the Internet- no luck. Using Traffic Pro's "Points of Interest" function I searched for a seafood restaurant. When I found a restaurant, it was in a condominium set up, all brand new with no parking. Asking for directions didn't help because the staff only knew where they were standing, not how they got there or where to go. Some recommended the "Inner Harbor". I had read about the Inner Harbor in Baltimore and someday wished to go there, although this seemed not a good time to be poking around Baltimore. I also had to pee. The vet had told me when I stop, if I leave the car, the cat must come with me. I thought the cat must also need to pee, even though the vet said he'd be fine for 8 hours a day sleeping in his carrier under the dash. Up til now Rock had been staring straight at me every nanosecond from his carrier without blinking. The Sturdi Bag site also sells collapsible litter boxes. I figured I would find a place to eat and park and give Rock a chance to be alone with his collapsible litter box. Spinning the Traffic Pro dial again I found "The Rusty Scupper". Somewhere I had heard of this place. They had a nice covered lot and I figured I would go inside and have a quick crab cake. The temperature was not hot and not cold inside the car. I put the UNGO alarm system on- thanks to Harvster and Dave T. I think Rock was moving around inside, as the alarm kept chirping. The chirping was probably upsetting Rock so I just locked the car and went inside. I had to, I needed my own collapsible litter box by that time. Inside it turned out to be not only incredible, but also delicious. . By accident I had landed right on the Inner Harbor, and they sat me in the corner table with the most amazing view of the harbor. One problem, they forgot about my order. After sitting there over a half hour and worrying about Rock and the 4 hours of driving that awaited me, as well as Dr Biggly, I made a fuss. The manager was so aghast she ran my meal out to me in a minute and the bill was zero dollars. I ran out to the car in the spitting rain thinking it would be nice to arrange a meal with the Maryland folks on the return trip-March 25. It's a Monday though and I hope to be there around 4pm. Rock had not opted to use the Sturdi product. I put the litter back in the trunk bag of litter. There are two bags of litter in the car, one in the trunk, and one on the passenger seat, along with 3 disposable litter boxes and 2 collapsible litter boxes. Back on the road again and headed into Virginia. *************************************** For anyone who is unfamiliar with the reasons why I hate Virginia, here is a quick review: Fun facts about Virginia: 50% of the nation's budget for roads goes to Virginia. FBI, CIA, IRS, Pentagon- all in Virginia. Radar detectors are illegal in Virginia They recently had a law allowing them to stop people at the border and test their blood. "Drivers clocked in the high 80s in a 65mph zone usually receive up to 6 days in jail"- under Virginia law you can go to jail for 12 months for anything considered "reckless driving"- that is anything over 80mph. At least one county, Botetourt, on Insterstate 81 has implemented jail time for speeding offenses. For a longer version, please see:The Ride Home from Homecoming 98 and this article by Steven Ginsburg of the Washington Post. Hello, Cruise Control? It's me, Rachel. I dumped the V1 into storage, set the cruise to a few mph over the limit and relaxed for 3 hours. I was grateful for my CB radio- the truckers replaced my V1. Frank Lloyd Wright's Usonian Pope-Leighey House beckoned from exit 161. I looked at Rock, his eyes still intent upon me and knew that there was no stopping in Virginia or anywhere else on the way, not for Frank Lloyd Wright, not for anything. I was behind schedule now, so it was a good thing I had not called Dr. Biggly (Mike) to say I'd be in at 315pm. Traffic Pro routed me around the major cities on beltways to avoid traffic so it was a little hard to believe it when it led me away from the signs to Rocky Mount. Gosh what a pleasure not to have to look at the map every couple hours. 10 miles outside of North Carolina the sun came out and led me to Rocky Mount. Look Ma, no V1! **************************************** The Residence Inn at Rocky Mount was adorable. It turned out I had everything I needed for the kitty, from his Wonder Box to his portable scratching post. (Hey, don't laugh, that Wonder Box saved me from washing and packing a used litter box into Emmy every morning!) I love that WonderBox. Thank goodness Rock did too. Half a bag of litter used. By this time my curiosity about Dr. Biggly was over the top. Who is this guy anyway? What does "Dr. Biggly" mean? It was incredibly kind of him to come out and see us, without knowing us at all except on the Internet. I have friends in North Carolina but they all live on the other side of the state. I had no idea what this place would be like, and I am grateful that someone, anyone would be waiting for me. Dr. Biggly turned out to be a handsome fella almost half my age ready to escort me to dinner and tell me tales of North Carolina and sweet tea and Krispy Kreme doughnuts. He even put up with my kitty against a possible heavy allergy attack, and put up with me running away from the smokers outside the Outback Steak House we walked to next door. It was dark so he couldn't see how filthy Emmy was. She had not been washed in a couple months. Actually I was hoping the dirt would make her less attractive and noticeable, and I think that worked. We were parked just a few spaces from a lovely spotless gray Porsche 911, which made me feel a lot better. I also had a strategy of wearing my NYFD firefighter t shirt while driving just in case I got stopped by the police. I thought that maybe they would see it as the official firefighter's shirt that it is and cut me a teensy bit of slack. Well, it was worth a shot. In no time flat we were yakking our heads off about the Dragon and the Internet and Z3s and pick up trucks and I was having way too much fun and had to go to bed to get up for the next day's driving. Besides, Rock was waiting for me. Mike and I made plans to meet up on the ride back, and get him down to Florida to visit too, and after standing in the parking lot for an hour saying goodbye I hit the hay. Gosh it is so nice having the kitty waiting for me in the room. I didn't expect that. Having kitty on the road turns out to be tremendously marvelous. Having kitty sleeping on the bed next to me in the hotel room is de LUXE baby. I booked the room for our return on the way out. Great hotel. ********************************** 53295 473 miles later... Next morning the sun was shining. Packing up was a breeze and breakfast was easy. I could not help myself. I put the top down. On the road again at 830am and running down the highway. I was having way way way too much fun. By this time Jon and Mike were posting for me on Caranostra Message Board and Beth and Judy were thinking about joining my little caravan of one. I was just thinking about how I had no food and water bowls for Rock for the next hotel. The Residence Inn had a kitchen, and plenty of bowls. I had one extremely nasty moment when Rock nosed the opening of his carrier open while the top was down. Thank goodness I had a collar and leash on him, I used it to shove him back in while pulling off the interstate. In one flash it nearly all went to hell. Speaking of Hell, there is this place called "South of The Border". Everyone has seen those wretched black bumper stickers with the day-glo sombreros. They are not from Mexico, they are from South Carolina. You see them for miles and miles, but within 20 miles you see them every time you look up, to the sides or behind you. They are everywhere like the sirens of Odysseus, marketing sirens luring you to their island of kitsch. As I passed each one, and read each one- to the detriment of my driving- I swore I would not stop there. I was going to prove the point that I would not be so easily marketed. I was hungry and I still would not stop there. Not for a photo op. I looked and Rock and promised him, no stop at South of the Border. I had read about this and decided to see how many of the signs I could catch in the 17 miles left before South of the Border. Check this out: and I missed some!!! Then I remembered that I had no food bowls for Rock. What a stupid move on my part. As punishment, I stopped at South of the Border to find food bowls for Rock. Aside from it's already bizarre bazaar existence, it was even stranger as it was desolate. It was just me and Rock, many oversize sombreros, huge souvenir shops, fireworks and junk food and statues of animals. We settled in a shady spot behind a gorilla's butt for a snack of raisins and canned tuna. Rock got a little of the tuna. I made it out of there with two South of the Border bowls for Rock, those wretched bumper stickers, a South of the Border snowball and a road map of the East Coast showing how far you are from South of the Border. Next time they should strap me to the mast. ********************************* Ah South Carolina. Poor Emmy's built-in homing device kept turning us west towards Mecca- I mean Spartanburg. Not this trip Emmy. Just stay on 95 and head south. I noticed an unusual license plate on this camaro and leisurely pulled up beside it to see where it was from.... It was a state trooper! Oops! The Valentine was doing a marvelous job of keeping track of speed traps. Seems that they usually gather about 30 miles inside the state line. South Carolina's stretch of 95 has got nothing on it except speed traps. The sun was out and I was groovin to the left channel of 6 CDs of my favorite music and it was HOT. I was happy for my sunscreen as my lips started to get burnt. Then I was happy for my Z3Hatz. Thinking of Than and Brent and how they got together from NJ and MO to give me my gorgeous Emmy hat. It's a great hat and I pulled it over my burning head while I was driving, and attached it with the hat keeper that JonT gave me after he lost his first Z3Hatz in a gust of wind from the road. That was South Carolina. ********************************************** As I approached Georgia I thought of peaches, as eating my way down the coast occurred to me in Baltimore. No roadside peaches, only pecans and fireworks. I found myself stopping at the exit for Auldbrass and SeaJay by accident. Kind of funny how hard it was to get here by air in November. It got so hot I had to put the top up, my face was burning and I was getting sun poisoning. Yes Virginia, there is a place where the sun is shining.... I missed every "now entering" sign as I entered each state. It was pretty calm and soothing just tooling down the highway in the sun in my dirty dream machine and my kitty in a bag and the infamous new laptop. As far as upgrades, I had chipped the kitty and the laptop has an upgraded exhaust. I am not kidding. When they inject your cat with a tiny microchip a la Fantastic Voyage it would stop an animal shelter from destroying the animal- if Rock gets away from me on this trip and survives. The exhaust on this laptop is brilliant, it shoots out the side instead of venting out the bottom. This is very smart, so I can use it on the bed without overheating the insides. Man it puts out a lot of heat! Ten miles outside the Florida State Line I saw my first palm tree. ********************************************** My arrival in Jacksonville was no where near as fortuitous as Rocky Mount. The hotel allowed cats because it was a wreck and no animal could make the rooms worse. No Dr. Biggly to meet either. :( After the lesson learned in Winchester Kentucky on the way to HC00, I will never stay in a scary room again. Nice people at the hotel but still, no way. We checked another hotel and then I remembered seeing a billboard for a Holiday Inn Holidome. I had learned from Shawn and Melissa on the return from HC99 about the Holiday Inn "domes", Todd from CT had turned us on to a great holidome in Pittsburgh when we went to see Fallingwater and Kentuck Knob. I held out a hope for this Jacksonville Holidome like a light in a storm while the mosquitoes began to make a meal of me. Oh, yeah, insects. The one thing we all love about winter in the Northeast is how it kills all the mosquitoes. The vet had prescribed Frontline for Rock, and I had Avon's Skin So Soft in my "go" bag- thank goodness. Preparing for the south meant an inventory of bug repellents and treatments and preparation for Men In Black sized flying cockroaches and many of them flying kamikaze into my windshield. Feel better now? The CB saved me again as I made friends with the truck drivers, it was like having a TalkAbout and talking to my Z3 friends. Well, sort of. I got a kick out of hearing them talk about me, and then surprising them because I had my "ears" on. They always called the car a little "BMW". Always "BMW". These folks don't mistake it for a Boxster or a Miata or anything else. Oh the way they talked... "Hey driver guess what you have headed your way! Blonde chick in a little BMW, keep an eye out for her...". The cars at the Holidome were very grand, all Mercedes and Cadillacs- even a Prowler. Good sign. Parked up to ground floor rooms that opened onto the cars. Another good sign. Unfortunately once again the rooms stunk. I called the front desk and asked if they had a concierge level and sure enough they did. As they gave me the key they let me know that usually they don't allow pets on the concierge level. I don't know why they allowed me to go there with Rock but I was grateful- and exhausted. We ended up with a smashing room, a great view of Emmy, and Rock having his first meal in those South of the Border bowls. I had wondered if I'd be able to travel with my cat, now I don't know how I ever did long distance without him. He is just the best cat in the world. He kept an eye on Emmy too. and Emmy looking back up at Rock After that incident with the mosquitoes I decided to give Rock the Frontline treatment at the hotel instead of waiting for Naples. He managed to get some in his mouth and went about the room puking. I was following with a towel and soap- worried that the hotel would ban us for life if we messed up a concierge room. Then we watched my new favorite comedy show, the Weather Channel. It was Ground Hog Day in Punxatawny, PA. Look at all those freezing cold people watching a groundhog praying for an early spring! That used to be ME! ;D They listed all the cities where the temperature was going to drop 30 degrees- each one I just left. Snicker. Yes, I took the sunshine with me when I left. Hey, I stayed up there as long as I could.... I had a nice chat in the Concierge Lounge with a traveling salesman (did you hear the one about the traveling salesman who gave directions?). He said that if Traffic Pro was routing me south to Orlando on I 95 before southwest to Naples on I 4 and then I 75, I should consider disobeying and heading west on I 10 and then to I 75. I looked at a map (wow) and saw he made sense. At checkout I asked if they would have me and Rock back again, same room and made the reservation. (Whew) The clerk explained that all the fancy cars were there because they were hosting a Baptist ministers' convention. One more time shoving the cat into the Sturdi Bag, one bag of cat litter down and 2 Wonderboxes left at hotels, just one left for the new house. ***************************** 53799 504 miles later 977 miles from home and it's 10 am before we get started. I don't know if I will ever know if it truly is shorter to go west, I believe it must be because of the tourist cities all piled up on the way to Orlando, and Orlando itself full of tourists because not only did I force Traffic Pro to route me via Lake City, but also there was this fast VW Passat I was following at 110 mph across the top of Florida. I was at I 75 in half an hour. The ride down 75 was so much fun I didn't want it to end. The sound of Steve Miller Band's "Quicksilver Girl" without the base line drove me to try putting the right channel on again. Instantly Rock shot me a look like he was saying: "Oh RIGHT, it's like it's not enough that you keep me in this nylon prison for over 8 hours a day, and you think I didn't notice you had the top down, I don't even get to pee while you are eating crabs on the Inner Harbor, as if that wasn't bad enough, you think I won't notice when you turn on a speaker the same size as my rib cage right beside my ear with a shot of Rock and Roll when I had finally fallen asleep?. BITCH!" I immediately turned the balance back to the left and hung my head in shame. A little scared of what I would find at this house I only saw on the Internet in desperation looking for a place to escape the construction at my house. All around me I saw increasing numbers of "snowbirds". We, the snowbirds, flocking south for the winter in our dirty cars with license plates from Ontario and Michigan. A 740 with a canoe strapped painfully to it's back, clips on the hood. We should have special license plate frames for the trip that say, "Yes, I admit it, I am a snowbird. Please have mercy on me." Traffic Pro found my winter home, and it was without a doubt all of Zodom and most of Gamorrah. *************************************************** Opening doors here is a thrill. The front door opens to a view of the waterfall out back burbling. Nothing prepared me for life with an attached garage. Emmy's first gargae door opener, :::sigh::: Reminds me of the George Carlin line about why dogs lick their balls (because they can) and how if his tongue reached he'd never leave the house. Well with an attached garage I don't know how anyone ever leaves the house. Leave something in the car? No problem. Oh and the garage door opener- sheesh, what a life! Have to pee while out shopping? No problem, pop in the car and push the button. A true pit stop. I could Zaino my car all day and night in there- regardless of the weather. I fell asleep in there talking on the phone to Jon the first night. Even Rock is compelled to check out the car from the laundry room. You people with attached garages have zero excuse not to have an immaculate car. I have time to see things now that I hadn't dreamed of before. I even cleaned and polished the back window. All of it. No problem. Every time I have to put something into or take something out of or carry groceries into the house it takes me a while to stop staring at the car. I mean, I had read all that stuff about "You know you are a Z3 owner if" and how people have to put down paper in the garage for their drool.... But it's 5 years later and it's still TRUE! I mean- this time last year I was washing my car in the snow . This year is different... I thought it was interesting the patterns that the dirt made on Emmy. Is this the aerodynamics of the car? The path that stones take before they chip the paint? Jeez I love those curves. Peeling off the Stone Guards to reveal the Zaino finish beneath. I have already washed her once briefly yesterday- the dirt fell off the Zaino and the Porterfield brake dust gave up with a single wipe revealing her fat silver wheels and that Boston Green color that makes me shiver with glee. Before the wash: After the wash: It's so wonderful to have an excuse to go out and get- ANYTHING because I can just jump in the car and go- top down. After I washed the car yesterday, I hit Petsmart and bought Rock all the comforts of home. He was like a kid at Christmas, he fell asleep with his head on a bag of catnip. Of course there are unique hazards here too. I have already disturbed a nest of ants while paddling about the spa and listening to Sinatra (thanks Matt! It was the first thing I played when I arrived...) and the drivers... oh my, these people drive 10 miles under the limit and hit every bit of concrete curbs in the most unusual manner in their Mercedes and Cadillacs. I park Emmy far far away from the stores and set the alarm every time and live in fear of runaway shopping carts. The clerks seem to be constantly amazed by their bar code readers, none of them seem to be able to master a check out without some major technical disaster and the culture seems to revolve around being as nasty as possible to the miserable snowbirds like me. They will have to work a lot harder to get to me, I am from New York City, the only civilized place on earth, and kids in school in New York City could trump their attitude during recess. 54209 1387 miles from home and Rock is curled up on the chair beside me, just like at home. God Bless you Steve Borsse! Yeah, not bad! |
since February 6, 2002 |
1 Zodom and Gamorrah Part 1 Triple Packing~~ Part 2 Cat In a Bag~~ Part 3 Baltimore~~ Part 4 Virginia~~ Part 5 Dr. Biggly I Presume~~ Part 6 Zouth of the Border~~ Part 7 South Carolina~~ Part 8 Georgia~~ Part 9 Jacksonville, FL~~ Part 10 Road to Zodom~~ Part 11 Garage Gamorrah~~ Part 12 God Bless You, Steve Borsse~~ |
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